Second Opinions

Second Opinions

Hey guys!

SC has finally starting to dry up from all the rain we have had. Columbia’s water is still bad and clean up is still going on so we have been thankful for nice weather.

Finally put on my big girl panties and called two other fertility clinics in our area to get a second opinion. Hubs and I debated on doing another transfer before the holidays but I just didn’t feel ready. So during this wait-and-see time I am going to see what other professionals are thinking when they look at my chart.

I told my mom about my new appointments and she was worried about how I was going to get my records from my current RE.

Umm. Just call them. I might be awkward but oh well. I am just another patient.

I think she was worried that my current RE wouldn’t treat me if I saw someone else. I told her not to worry. This is not like some awkward break up….just testing the waters. And hey, I probably will come back. I have 8 little embryos just chilling in the freezer.

So tomorrow I am doing the awkward phone call to see if I can get my records. I thought that would be less noticeable that sending those release form from the new REs. I guess I will have to pay for them? I don’t know.

Hope everyone is hanging in there. Can’t believe how fast October is moving! The holidays will be here before we know it.

MMM

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Isaiah 42:3

Isaiah 42:3

  
Only one word I would use to describe my beautiful state of South Carolina.

Devastation.

Never in my life have I seen such tragedy. People have lost everything in this flooding: their homes, their belongings, their cars. 

Roads are washed away, dams collapsed, homes destroyed, people evacuated, lives uprooted.

In my hometown we got more than 10 inches of rain in 12 hours. Thankfully my house only suffered a few leaks that can easily be fixed. I can’t imagine how it would feel to lose it all.

We are stranded because of roads being washed away. Even though we live in a higher-populated part of the state, we still have back roads that are used everyday that are now completely gone.

Columbia is without water and will be for 3 to 4 days. Right now fire trucks are pumping water into hospitals to help keep the equipment cool and running.

It will take months, even years, for our beautiful state to get back to normal. Mother Nature is so powerful; it blows my mind when I think about a rain storm of this magnitude and the destruction it has caused. It is being described as a weather event that hasn’t been seen or will be seen in thousands of years. Just a freak thing with the right conditions for disaster.

Please pray for our state. Please pray for the families who have lost everything. Please pray for the police officers, transportation workers, firefighters and other personnel who are working around the clock to help those in need. 

Just pray.

M

Limbo…

Limbo…

And no, not the fun limbo that you did on rollerblades at the local skating rink.

Do you still have skating rinks where you are? We do…..

Thanks everyone for the sweet messages on my BETA post. So sorry I didn’t respond back. It has taken me a while to ‘face the music.’ Sorry, I am a terrible blogger!

Anyhoo, had my appointment with the RE last week. She said that she was disappointed to see us. That if she was a betting women she would have been sure that we would have gotten pregnant last cycle. But we didn’t. Not even a hint of a baby trying to implant.

She hits us with what she thinks: natural killer cells are too high and she wants to treat me as such next cycle. I would take baby aspirin, prednisone, high dose of folic acid and intralipids.

She doesn’t want to test for them because she thinks our money would be well spent on the transfer and not on the test.

I don’t know what to do.

I have been googling (which is sometimes all you can do). I have been reading about natural killer cells and autoimmune disorders and the side effects of steroids, etc., etc., etc.

I have hypothyroidism and I have read where women with hypothyroidism can develop an autoimmune disease where your natural killer cells attack your thyroid. Do you know that your thyroid and your ovaries are kind of like sisters in the hormone world? Who would have thunk it? Anyways, this can lead to infertility.

I kind of makes sense to me, this whole “natural killer cells” thing. I don’t get sick. Ever. I think the last time I was sick was in 2011. I just don’t. I have always felt in my gut that it was an implantation issue. That feeling felt even stronger after the IVF in April where we had such strong numbers.

But should I get tested? Even if I do get tested, it won’t change the plan of attack for the next FET. Should I get an second opinion? Should I get a lap done? (I read that people with hypothyroidism have a higher chance of endo and PCOS-which I have a little bit of). I don’t have any endo symptoms but that doesn’t mean I don’t have it.

I am going back gluten free again because I read that that helps your thyroid. I went hog crazy on gluten after my BETA came back a big fat 0. Drowned my sorrows in a big bowl of pasta and it was good.

I just don’t know what to do. And I can’t tell if it is because my gut is telling me not to or if I am so scared of it not working again.

I know that there is a chance that it won’t work, so that sucks. Then we could be close to being out of insurance money and out of luck and still baby-less. But what if it does? What if this is the reason that it hasn’t worked naturally for us? What if my body is like the really powerful ol’ maid that’s like “NOT IN MY HOUSE” when the embryo comes down the pipes?

I have been praying about it. I asked God to give me a sign. But I had a weird dream instead. I dreamed I was pregnant and I kept saying in the dream, “It must be twins because the line is so dark. They just put them back on Thursday.”

Later in the week, DH and I were talking about when we could do the transfer. September is just too soon for me. November I have a work meeting that I have to be at (and the transfer could be the same day or the day after) so no go. And the clinic takes December off. So October is the only month left this year we can do it. So, I mapped out my tentative transfer based on my cycle and….

IT WILL (POSSIBLY) BE ON A THURSDAY.

Probably a big coincidence but I can’t shake this feeling that maybe it’s not….

XOXO

M

6dp5dt is a BFN

6dp5dt is a BFN

Welp. I caved. 

And it was white as they always have been.

Been feeling super depressed all day. Yesterday I had some intense cramping that is not existent today. So maybe they are still doing something down there. But trying not to get my hopes up.

Beta is in Friday morning. I ain’t testing again. Will update then!

M

5dp5dt

5dp5dt

Feeling…..nothing. Maybe a little off. But that is it.

Yesterday I was really nauseous toward the end of the day but I think that was because I ate too many peaches. Yummmmm.

Anyway, my urine smells funny. I am not sure if it is from the progesterone shots or from something else. I don’t remember my urine smelling during the mock trial (trust me, I would have mentioned it) so I don’t know. 

I haven’t tested. I am not one of those people who have to test all the time. I can always hold out until my period (or beta this time around). But I got the feeling that I should test. But I am scared it will be stark white. 

M